“And some extra padding around the crotch, if you please, Mr Wader Manufacturer…”

Pacu frito (fried pacu) gross fish teeth

Pacu frito (fried pacu) gross fish teeth (Photo credit: yrpopqueen)

Ever since the global warming debate kicked off in earnest, those of us who still remember the colon-loosening experience of seeing Jaws on the big screen have had a singular dark thought tapping away in the recesses of our mind.

Nasty fish, heading north.

If this tentative dread tended to take the form of great whites off Bridlington or Babbacombe in our fevered imagination, the ultimate predator has been usurped by a tropical tiddler, which, like Joe Pesci in Casino, seems all the nastier for being small, making its menace unexpected.

Say hello to the pacu. Ideally with your legs crossed.

“‘The pacu is not normally dangerous to people but it has quite a serious bite, there have been incidents in other countries, such as Papua New Guinea where some men have had their testicles bitten off,’ said Henrik Carl, fish expert at the Danish museum.”

Now they’re just off Sweden. That’s even more north than us (because I know you’re wondering). And many thanks to the vindictive Mr Carl, who has left us with a quote that may take days to leave my head.

“They bite because they’re hungry, and testicles sit nicely in their mouth…”


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