Trout chocolate? Er, much as I love my fishing…

This is why the notion of a full-on European Union is such a non-starter. We’re all just toooo different.

Anyone in Britain who floated the idea of fish being flagged-up big time on a chocolate bar wrapper would never get within ten miles of another brainstorming session. In Austria, on the other hand, it’s apparently the clincher.

Say hello to Zotter Kunst Stoff (Rosa kokos mit fischgummi).

It gets worse. Having set the whole trout-and-pink-coconut clash loose in people’s heads, why on earth would you then feed their misgivings further by making the product resemble a sliver of prepared fish? Farmed, at that.

Apparently, it’s meant to put you in mind of raspberries. Not if you’ve ever wielded a filleting knife, it doesn’t.

“What you will find, however, is that there’s neither a fishy taste nor aroma,” the reviewer attempts to console us. “The actual trout content is 0.4% so you’re not going to look for any hollandaise sauce to go with it. But there are some other ingredients that may surprise you, such as onions, bay leaves and fennel…”

I’d be interested to know how far you get through the review before retching. The hollandaise sauce plug did it for me.


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