Fishing licence can’t come fast enough

Abiding mental image of the day – bent fishermen pushing the words “law abiding” to the wire:

“A total of 50 people have been caught fishing illegally in Shropshire and Worcestershire.

“A team from the Environment Agency checked 582 anglers to see if they had proper licences during an operation at sites in the two counties…The agency said some people fishing illegally tried to run away and others were caught trying to buy a licence over the phone as the water bailiffs approached” – from the BBC

Oh to have been a fly on the wall at the Environment Agency’s Telesales service when those feverish calls came through…

“Good morning, you’re through to Maureen, how can I……..Carry on like that, you pervert and I’m putting the phone down…

“Oh I see. You’re panting because you’ve been running. Our lines are open ’til eight tonight if you’d rather…

“No, if you really must do it now, then, that’s fine. I must inform you that all calls are recorded for…

“I don’t care if you have heard all this when you bought car insurance, our procedures aren’t necessarily the same. And who’s ‘getting closer’…?

“Well what sort of licence do you need? ‘Browny-yellow with red spots’? That’ll be Non-Migratory Trout & Coarse, then. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you could just stop jogging for a minute…

“And what name please…?


“Now you’ve given me three names there, haven’t you, so which is it to be: ‘Jesus Wept’, ‘Sweet Jesus’ or ‘Jesus Christ Almighty’?

“And that man shouting ‘Stop’ in the background…you have got authorisation to make a credit card purchase, haven’t you? You’d be amazed the kids we get putting grown-up voices on…

“And the card number, please…

“Hello? Have you fallen?



[Pic courtesy of Joe_13]

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